


Stay With Me

by tabbytabbytabby



Series: Game of Thrones Season 8 [9]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode Fix-it, Episode: s08e04 The Last of the Starks, F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions, Season/Series 08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 02:37:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18730030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: Jaime struggles with his decision to leave.





	Stay With Me

**Author's Note:**

> I was having a lot of feelings after the episode and would not let myself sleep until I wrote something. So here we are.

Jaime watches as Brienne sleeps. She looks peaceful spread out under the blankets, with her back visible and seeming to glow in the light cast by the fire. He wants nothing more than to get undressed and join her. To crawl under the covers and wrap himself around her. Shielding her from harm.

But he knows he can’t do that. She’ll always be in danger if they’re together. At least with Cersei still alive.

The thought of something happening to Brienne makes his chest ache. He can’t risk it. So he does the only thing he can do, he packs his few things and leaves.

He's hoping Brienne stays sleeping and doesn't come for him. But of course she does. He should have known she would.

“They’re going to destroy that city,” Brienne says. “You know they will.”

And Jaime does. But it doesn’t matter. Not now. “Have you ever run away from a fight?”

Brienne strides towards him, taking his face in his hands, her tone urgent. “You’re not like your sister. You’re not. You’re better than she is. You’re a good man and you can’t save her. You don’t need to die with her.” By now there are tears in her eyes, and Jaime can’t manage to hold her gaze as she pleads with him. “Stay here. Stay with me. Please. Stay.”

Brienne's voice breaks and Jaime feels his heart break along with it. He wants to stay, more than anything. He wants to be worthy of the love and faith Brienne has in him. But he knows if he stays he’ll never be able to live with himself. He’ll never be able to be happy. As much as he wants to.

So he does the only thing he can think of. He has to make her hate him.

“You think I’m a good man?” he asks her. “I pushed a boy out a tower window. Crippled him for life. For Cersei. I strangled my cousin with my own hands. Just to get back to Cersei. I would have murdered every man, woman, and child in Riverrun. For Cersei.” He can see how much Brienne is starting to break as he moves away. He just had one final blow to give. “She’s hateful, and so am I.”

Brienne starts crying. Jaime realizes  it's the first time he’s seen her cry like this. Seen her be this vulnerable. He hates himself for being the one to cause her pain. But there’s no other way.

He doesn’t look at her as he gets on his horse and rides towards the gate. He grips the reins tightly, Brienne’s cries following him as he goes. He only makes it as far as the other side of the gate before he stops. His chest feels tight and he can’t seem to catch his breath.

He can still hear Brienne crying and closes his eyes, feeling his own tears start to fall. He moves the horse further away, feeling his chest getting heavier as he goes. His vision blurrier. Until he has to stop again.

He can’t do this. He can’t just leave Brienne standing there crying in the snow thinking he doesn’t care. He wanted her to hate him so that if he died it wouldn’t matter. But he can’t do it.

He’s turning the horse around and riding back through the gates before he can think more on it. Brienne looks at him as he comes to a stop, her face a mixture of shock, relief, and anger.

Jaime jumps down from his horse and takes a careful step towards her. “You should hate me.”

“I don’t,” Brienne says, shaking her head, and wiping the tears from her eyes. “I know you want me to, but I don’t. I never could.”

“I did all those things, Brienne. For Cersei.”

“I know,” Brienne says, her eyes still wet with tears. “But you’re not that man anymore.”

“I don’t want to be,” Jaime tells her. “But I can’t stay here.”

“Jaime…”

“I have to end this,” Jaime says, needing her to understand. “I have to kill Cersei.”

If he’s expecting Brienne to put up some sort of argument, she doesn’t. She goes silent for a moment, her eyes never leaving his face. Finally, she speaks. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Excuse me?”

“You tried to sneak out in the middle of the bloody night and listed the horrible things you’ve done, trying to get me to hate you. And what for? So I’d just let you go? So you can go off to King's Landing to kill Cersei on your own? So you could die there?”

“It would mean you’re safe,” Jaime argues.

“But _you_ wouldn’t be.”

“I don’t care.”

“I do!” Brienne shouts. “Damn it, Jaime. I love you. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“I can’t see you hurt either!” Jaime says. He closes the distance between them, and puts his hand on her cheek. “I love you too, Brienne. Which is why I have to do this.”

“You don’t have to do it alone,” Brienne argues.

“She can’t know about you,” Jaime says. “If she found out she’d have you killed. Which is why…”

“You tried to slink away in the middle of the night, I know.”

“I knew if I told you you’d either try and stop me or come with me,” Jaime says. “But you can’t. You swore to protect the Starks. This is where you belong.”

“I belong with _you_ ,” Brienne tells him. “And you belong with me.” She grabs Jaime’s hand and brings it to her stomach. “With us.”

Jaime’s gaze moves from where their hands are resting, up to her face. She’s watching him carefully. “You’re pregnant?”

Brienne nods, “I am.”

Jaime feels tears welling behind his eyes again, but for a completely different reason than before. He’s happy, he realizes. He kisses Brienne, trying to put everything he’s feeling into the kiss. She smiles against his lips and he can’t stop the happy laugh from escaping him. “We’re having a baby.”

“We are.”

Jaime tries to picture it. The two of them with children. Raising them and growing old together somewhere near the water. He feels a strong sense of longing.

None of that can happen now. Not with this war going on. It can’t go on forever, he knows that. But if Cersei wins...

Jaime pulls back, his face grim. He looks to Brienne, to see her frowning. “You’re still going, aren’t you?”

“I’m the only one that can get close to her,” Jaime reasons. “If she lives, you won’t be safe. Either of you.”

“I can protect myself, you realize this?”

“I do,” Jaime says. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t protect you too. Protect my family.”

Brienne nods, and Jaime can see she’s crying again. “You better come back to us.”

Jaime kisses her, soft and sweet. He knows he has to go. There’s just one thing he has to do before he leaves. Something that will have to wait until morning and require the help of Sansa Stark.

They’re married in the Godswood in the morning. Only Sansa and Podrick are present. He would have liked Tyrion to be here but he knows it’s not possible, and Tyrion will understand. Sometimes things can’t wait.

He also knows it’s a risk getting married. If Cersei finds out it will just fuel her fire. But he has to do right by Brienne and their child. He promises himself this isn’t goodbye. He’s going to make it back to Brienne. Whatever it takes.

It’s not easy but he does keep his promise. Months later he returns bruised and exhausted, but alive. Cersei is dead. The threat is gone.

He finds Brienne in their room. She’s sitting by the fire with her feet up, fast asleep.

Jaime closes the door softly and moves to kneel beside her. He brings his hand up, brushing it through her hair, and places a soft kiss to her cheek. He pulls back enough to whisper in her ear. “Brienne.”

Her eyes snap open, and she turns her head to face him. He notices the relief immediately. She smiles and brings a hand to his neck. “You’re here.”

“I told you I’d come back to you,” Jaime tells her. “Both of you.”

“I knew you would,” Brienne says. “You’re a man of your word Jaime Lannister.”

Jaime moves until he’s sitting in the chair with Brienne. He wraps his arm around her and pulls her close, placing a kiss to the top of her head. When she grabs his hand and brings it down to rest on his stomach and he feels his child move inside of her for the first tim, he knows he made the right decision. This is where he should be. And maybe, just maybe he really can be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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